i could see their faces and hear my voice
but i know i wasn't there
time became a water colors
and they finally started to bleed together
my knees shook me to the ground
and i woke up vomiting
that was when i knew my father wasn't here
though here became an unclear term.
inside the kaleidoscope
weary of the turns that shift
comfortable with the regrettable
why am i bleeding
how long have i been crying
but it was a phantom fleeting thought
the next time ill be prepared
but the colors form new colors
disregarding the present location
no compass will tell me
and no stars will guide me
to an ever changing place
or constant reminder
that this isn't the home it should be
somethings misplaced, i just dont know what

The shadows sparkled through the night
within painted constellations
there were dates on calenders
but the sequences were wrong
and in an attempt to right the wrongs
we only created bigger puzzles
with answers to mumbled questions.
we asked god to take our hearts with different meanings
in returned letters between lovers
after she made revisions
saying there will be no rainbows.
with matted sheets of paper
knowing everything is flammable
you became a cabin in the woods
and i was the pinata waiting for the stick

Crocheted in the dark
with a can of silly string
the greasy thread shimmered
so much for stars
these planes are slightly better
its a moving constellation
while spinning in ellipses
and drinking from the big dipper.
So many eyes peeping freely
the lies are warm
in the midst of volcanoes
and we've not sacrificed enough,
not a pound of flesh
or broken heart
will change the blinking satellites.

this is actually a song i wrote

Its all too slippery if you know what i mean
but the rocks left a dust more effective for holding on
but the breathe in your lungs feels like a blue flame
and all the other colors drain from your face
its stil not safe to get back into the water but they're not afraid
its all the pitch black conversations that scare us
we're not accustomed to using our mouths as fingers
but our fingers have always been better at talking
we have all the time in the world
to start this communication
to start this communique
we ended it all within the proper period
the whispers surrounded by the gasoline bacteria
who knew that organs were flammable, they're flammable
we're flammable despite all our hearts and guts inside
and its all too slippery if you know what i mean
so don't be mistaken, no don't be mistaken
my fingers prefer to do the talkin your lips say
baby don't you go to sleep
we dont have all the time in the world

There are days I look at my hands
and wonder if its what my grandpa saw.
Theres an old saying I read
with your eyes they shall see.
Even in the summer
the cold turned him red
and we all thought our fears were real.
There were a lot of beeps and hums
that I will hear again and again
there will always be time later,
even in the face of dying,
so we make dreams unattainable
goals unassailable
and venture out to get whats ours.
We are young,
and in seeing our youth
they are terrified.
So we scream and throw our fists.
I see the color forming
and think "this isn't the way its supposed to be."

its been slow

its getting cold out. shivering cold. here are 2 more that are sort of new.  they will probably get revised at some point. too many veggies.

When we scream the birds fly

because they feel the bass

and its terrifying.

Our hair stands up

which makes our legs stands up

and our arms react to the momentum.

They said we were loud

but they didn't mind

as long as we paid the check.

We drove fast

to taste the wind

in a city still awake at dawn.

We never knew

because they never told us.

They were all so inviting

encouraging

but we didn't care

because boys just want to have fun

and a battlefield is no place for love.

That was when we used our bottles

and we felt lighter

because we were young and impetuous

and learned foreign languages.

Who would have cared

if we magnified the world

till we all burned like ants.

They said carrots were the answer

that they answered all our questions

and so we indulged their recommendation.

All we wanted was to see

and jump farther

but all we got was orange skin

and the blood of rabbits.

We are non believers,

knowing full well we'll fall off the sides

and waiting for moment we do.

To grow old is a liars dream

Peter knew it, and James lived it,

thats when the ticking drove us mad

and we x'ed out the letters

to make a better alphabet

but I can't remember how to speak

only how our fingers work

and how everything else responds.

They say it's all the vitamins

but we've learned not to trust

the lies we heard in the dark.

A belief in signs

means capital letters.

In cramped spaces

where we found pocket lint

I made a new years resolution

based entirely on feeling.

Scour local taverns

for a place to proclaim

lift my hands in the air

with a grin on my face

I bring good news from Rah our god

but circles within circles within circles made me dizzy.

Someone whispered "breathe" 

and the feeling was mutual.

I no longer drape myself in cloaks

and the truth was restricting

so I'm shackled in fears

like I was tossed out of Eden

lips still dripping with the sins I'm committed to.