They said their eyes light up, at the carnival. They said they drank a lot and went on the rides and it made their eyes light up. I didn’t listen to them because they liked to ride around town in a pink Mazda Miata that I always thought was a little too ironic. Artists. I’ve only been taking public transportation for a little while, but I see them all the time, they drive around like vultures, I’ve actually timed their flight plan. Every thirty-seven minutes, sometimes from the north, sometimes from the East. I tried painting my apartment, this will all make sense, but I didn’t tape anything down and everything splattered over the furniture. The fumes filled the apartment and I started to laugh, laugh at the failure, at balding, I saw a commercial of abused dogs and I laughed. I now have three dogs, the guilt ate me and then licked it’s lips.
She breathed heavy, paced her words and said she’d never done anything like this before. She held onto my arms and I wanted her to love me. I let my fingers fall down her waist to her belt and unclipped her harness. I wanted her to continue holding on, but the blood went back into her head and she kissed my cheek and ran to the van. I got out of my harness and started folding the parachute, it would need to be refolded (I messed up). I frequently get asked how I got into the instructing business, I always reply that I went to catholic school.
Every time I bring someone home they ask if the room was painted with a wet parasol. That would have been a good idea, but I just regret bringing them home. I’ve been looking for a good parasol online with no luck, just umbrellas. Where’s the line? What makes one something and the other something else? I want a hamster, but I have gerbil hands, so it just wouldn’t work out. I took a sip from their bottle and decided I felt a tingle. So much burned, me being a protestant, I wondered if Moses would come to my lungs, take off his shoes, and hear God. You Shmuck! I started to pray that someone would plug me in, a new line of light brights. Kid friendly, flammable: Don’t put near curtains. I see the earth growing smaller and smaller, dangling from a string on the plane. Every window is a screen, it’s all fake like the moon landing. I joined a pyramid scheme for comradery, I work for you and you and you and you but they work for me, and my cousin twice removed still wants me to take him skydiving but only if he buys from me and my associates from now on.
BUZZ ME IN! I FORGOT MY KEYS AGAIN! The landlady is upset, but I pay her not to be. She doesn’t remember that I live in a Jackson Pollack so she tries to call the police. I haven’t been robbed, I just need professional help. They let me keep the bottle and I keep drinking, I haven’t stopped since they gave it to me. It is endless, like a dark pit or the food at OCB. I wrote it in my journal but when I read it later it had been replaced by a picture of two stick figures sword fighting, the peeing way, not the knight’s way. I’m gallant I scream at the top of the ferris wheel but by the end I’m clear headed and all business. All hail King Tut!
I go to the pet stores every Thursday morning and look around. I made two tiny parachutes, but I don’t think I could ever throw them out of the plane, besides, gerbil hands. I want to invite them over, let them see my apartment and hope that they will think it was intentional. I want the girl to keep holding on and my landlady to brush her teeth. The backs of my hands are wet, I’ve been crying, I don’t know about what. My eyes are dim and lackluster, theirs are tie dye. I don’t have any more money so I wait for twenty-six minutes when they will come back, I will ask them for a ride and what was in the bottle. I will ask them if they want to go skydiving and what they do for a living. I will ask them for help painting my apartment and to check my pockets for my keys. I make a promise that when they come by I won’t laugh at their pink Miata, but I do and they don’t care, were all apart of the pyramid.
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